Hiatus

I can't believe it has been over 2 years since I have posted anything on this blog! Time has truly slipped away from me. A lot has happened in 2 years. Yes, I am still divorced, but life has taken me down an unexpected path. I am no longer in the midst of dating hell..yes, dating hell. Since I have last updated this blog, I have decided to put my family back together.

SHOCKER RIGHT!?!!

I know that whoever ends up reading this blog will have this question: How on earth did that happen?

It happened quite unexpectedly actually. Honestly, it surprised me and everyone else. Over the next few blog posts I plan to share how that came about. Although my life has taken a bit of a turn, I still plan to do what I set out to do with this blog, which was to help others through this maze called divorce.

Stay tuned....

A Funny Thing Happened....

After a brief attempt at reconciliation. I figured out that he and I are better off as friends. I don't know but what I've found is that we both bring out the worst in each other. It's like a bottle of water & vinegar mixed-it doesn't.

Let's face it, dating is hell or at least it is if you do not do the inner work. I'm figuring that out. Because dating is not all it's cracked up to be, it does not mean that you and your ex spouse belong together. If there are unresolved issues or questions, I encourage you all to get help (counseling) and work on things. As time goes on you may find that what you thought you wanted isn't what you want at all. There are instances where ex-spouses work their differences out and make it work, but for others of us-it just doesn't.

Not being able to reconcile does not mean you're an utter failure, but maybe the two of you have just grown too far apart. Maybe you really do want different things.

Sometimes being friends for your children is the best gift you can give your children rather than giving it another go as a couple. I will also say that maybe, just maybe God didn't put you and your ex-spouse

together to begin with (just a random thought).

What's funny about all this? Now that my ex and I have decided to be friends, he believes it's ok to give me dating advice. While his advice is not all bad, can we just say AWKWARD! I understand that he doesn't want to see me hurt or get into a bad situation, there's just some lines you do not cross. What's good about this though, is the fact that we're at least comfortable enough to talk about that part of our lives WITHOUT divulging too much detail.

To tie in my previous post to this one I'm gonna say this: you know you have truly forgiven the one who has hurt you, when you can move on together in peace and go on towards the next phase in life.

Does he read this? Yes. Am I bothered by it? No. Honest conversation comes about because of this blog.

Reconciliation Considered...

Considering reconciliation? Personally, I believe that those of us who have gone through or are going through a divorce have toyed with the idea of reconciliation at some point. At this stage of the game now is the time to ask yourself if reconciliation is what you really want. My suggestion is to go back and make a list of the Pros and Cons of your marriage and see if it is worth salvaging. If the Pros outweigh the Cons then it is possible. Another question that is good to ask is how or why the two of you ended up divorcing in the first place. The most important question of all (in my opinion) is have you forgiven the ex spouse and have you moved through the initial hurt. If the answer to those two questions is a "NO" then it would be safe to say that reconciliation needs to be put off a bit.


If you are considering reconciliation try to remember what it is about the ex spouse that made you fall in love with them in the first place. Also, if the two of you still have unresolved issues to work through seek help before totally committing to putting things back together. I say that simply because if unresolved issues are not tackled outright repeat problems are more likely to occur between you.


What if one ex spouse wants to reconcile and the other does not? This is the simplest of all: Move On! The spouse that may not want to reconcile may still have issues regarding the divorce-he or she may still be angry, mad, or sad. Another factor in not wanting to reconcile may be time. Too much or too little time may have passed. In terms of too much time, it could simply mean that the ex spouse has finally become used to life without the other spouse and likes things the way they are. As for too little time, it could simply mean that the ex spouse may not have had time to process things and move through the emotions of what has happend and still needs time to heal.


Whatever the case may be reconciliation is a touchy subject and should not be taken lightly. It is strictly a personal choice and only you can answer YES or No and why. Remember, whatever your stance on the subject be clear with your ex spouse what your position is and be able to back it up.