Riding the Rollercoaster

The rollercoaster of divorce is a turbulent ride. One minute you can't believe this is happening; the next minute you're ready to see him go; 30 seconds after that you're mad as hell and ready to burn all the reminders you can find. While you may be reading this and thinking wow - do not forget these extreme emotions are completely normal. You may believe you are losing your mind and it's ok because you're really not. When going through a divorce you have to allow yourself to authentically feel your emotions, but the trick is to not let the emotions take over your life.


Anger, sadness, and resentment that may be built up over time can lead to depression. That is what you do not want. Those of us going through a divorce want to be able to heal, feel, love and be loved again but the process is hard. You may even feel as though you may never love again..keep telling yourself that and that's exactly what you will bring into your life. The Bible says "as a man thinketh so is he" and that is true. It is ok to feel those emotions but remember - in order for you to be at your best you must move through those emotions and learn from it.


Another set of emotions you may feel initially is relief, elation, and perhaps a sense of contentment. These 3 emotions are ones that I believe we all want to feel, hold on to, and keep. The thing about feeling these emotions so early in the game is that it's a facade. When these emotions are felt early on the fact is you are feeling a sense of hope for the future and perhaps the reality of what is really happening has not set in yet. The sad truth is a crash may be around the corner, but the good news is this is just part of the rollercoaster and the crash doesnt last that long.


Remember recovering from divorce is a process and it takes time. Be patient with yourself. You will be standing tall, taking a tumble or fall, and picking yourself back up again (in terms of this divorce) several times. The issue is not whether or not we fall but if we pick ourselves up off the ground.




During this highly emotional time it is VERY important that you seek out a support system. A support system can be family, friends, co-workers, pastor and church family, or a divorce support group. Having someone you can talk to and vent to is a big help.


Divorce is a time to rediscover who you are and find out what you and only you want out of life. One of the ways to do that is to let go of the negativity around you, including negative people. Divorce can drain you of the energies especially the positive energies you have within. Take time out to nurture yourself and take care of yourself. Find ways to put the positive energy back in.