The hardest part about an impending divorce is the uncertainty. It can be a scary process, but I am here to tell you it's ok and you can get through this.
Before you sign anything figure out what you've both brought to the table and what it is you both can afford to give up (this is easier when you have a partner that still gives a damn). This is an expensive game so it's important to learn how to play. It's a draining process trying to figure out who gets the house, car(s), other assets, and even the children.
My own personal belief when it comes to all this is: ladies make sure you have your own bank account separate from your husbands. Make sure you have enough money in there to support yourself and any children you may have.
Now is the time to make an appointment with a lawyer and try to figure out what your options are. Here's a word of advice on seeing a lawyer: take a friend with you because at this point you are in a vulnerable state and you are bound to forget important questions to ask. Your friend is there to help you and offer support.
Knowing that divorce is eminent you MUST tie up any loose ends financially. This is also the time to make a budget and figure out how you and your children can live with less. You will be living off your income (if not now you will be later). Making an appointment with an accountant or financial consultant isn't a bad idea.
If you are a SAHM (stay at home mom) PLEASE take this advice: take some money for yourself every week out of his pay and deposit it into your OWN bank account. This will allow you to save money for any emergencies you may have and help you get along financially during the transition. One other thing, if you stay married and continue to pocket the money use it for a nice vacation! This piece of advice was given by Suze Orman some years ago during an appearance on Oprah. When she said it I was a sahm at the time and did not take that advice..when I left I had $90 to my name. Please Please Please take this advice.
If you need any assistance finding employment, housing, medical care (once you are dropped from his insurance), day care, etc. there are resources in each individual state to help you. There are organizations in each state that help stay at home mothers become employable again after a hiatus from the workforce - even some temp agencies have programs for displaced homemakers.
I know this can be a bumpy ride, just hold on - keep the faith-do not give up. All things happen for a reason and I know that you may not understand the reasoning right now but clarity is coming. Our life experiences are not in vain. This is a test, only a test...divorce is something that will definitely test your strength, will, and determination. If you do not consider yourself a strong woman, you will, because after going through something like this you will have developed your own strength.
It is my belief that sometimes divorce causes us as women to fall in love with ourselves for a change and enables us to stop looking to validate someone else, but to take time out for us.
*the advertised book is one that helped me get a grip on things and I still use it today when I need a little more guidance*
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